Privacy

She already knows.

This website, on the other hand, knows almost nothing about you. Here's the actual policy, in plain words.

What we collect

Nothing you type, because there's nothing to type into. There are no accounts, no sign-ups and no mailing list. The "Reserve" button is part of the joke: it doesn't take payments, it doesn't ask for your name or email, and the place-in-line number it shows you is made up on your own device and never sent anywhere.

Cookies

We don't set any cookies, so there's nothing to accept or decline.

Visit counts

We use Cloudflare Web Analytics to count visits: which pages were viewed, roughly where from, and on what kind of device and browser. It doesn't use cookies, doesn't build a profile of you and doesn't follow you to other sites.

Hosting

The site is hosted on Cloudflare. Like any web host, Cloudflare handles your IP address and browser details to deliver the pages and keep the site secure. Our fonts load from Google Fonts, which means your browser also asks Google's servers for them. Both companies handle that data under their own privacy policies.

Children

This site isn't aimed at children and doesn't knowingly collect anything from anyone.

Changes and questions

If any of this changes, we'll update this page and the date below. Questions about this site can go to Sloppywood Studios, the studio that made it.

Last updated November 10, 2026.

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Clanker Wife is a parody and not a real product. Here's the whole story.